Difficult to say it…
It is has been a long time since I post, I planned to blog very end of the week but work caught but with me, so I am unable to.
Seriously right now as I am typing this, I am actually crying. It really hurts inside. I just don’t really get it. What happen was on 9th July, a customer of mine came and board a rabbit with me. His name is Midnight, he is a handsome and beautiful fellow but with a tempter to go with it. Our first meeting ended with bloodshed really, well blood of mine to be extact, I was helping him clip his nails and as I was about to put him back into his cage, he gave me a nasty kick and left me a nice scar on my hand. He was actually the first rabbit that scarred me.
Before Midnight’s mum left, she requested me to clip his nails again, by now I am already alright with all the scars I had gotten from rabbits. On 11th July, I almost had enough of Midnight’s nails clawing the metal flooring of his cage, it was really unpleastant for the both of us. So my plan was simple, take Midnight out, clip his nails…may be get kick by him like again and put him back in. But things did not went as planned, when I opened the cage, Midnight freaked, trying to escape he jumped and fell out of his cage. I had to thrash the plan of clipping his nails and put him into his carrier than back into his cage.
Since Midnight was hot on his head, so I left him be after 10 mintues I came back to check on him, I was shocked to see him limping on his left front paw, I was think ‘Damn it, Midnight is hurt, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…’ Half hoping it was just an trumaic fall, he might feel better the next day. Nope, he did not, so I had to take him to the vet, he had a open fracture and it was really bad, the vet actually gave me two choices to either cast it or amputate the leg for there was no feeling on the broken paw at all. Inside my head was, ‘I am so dead…’ I couldn’t make the choice of an amputation for I am not Midnight’s family…so I made the choice of casting. After the casting was done, the vet informed me there was anotehr complication to the whole thing, there was an open wound and the cast cannot stay that long with an open wound. It will cause infection and might kill Midnight, seriously I could make do anything yet, so I suggest and see how things went for Midnight.
After much struggle, I actually emailed Midnight’s mum, telling her everything that happened and her reply actually made me felt better, she knew it was an accident and she told me accident do happen and asked me not to take it on myself. Since Midnight returned from his first visit from the vet, I put in my heart and soul into taking care of him, I talked to him, stroked him and fed him medication. Midnight at first likes his medication but as he grew stronger, he became more resistance against it. I too kept his family update on his condition, he could even escape the medication on his cast now. Than the vet grew concern of Midnight’s condition and my late reply regarding the amputation, called and let me know they need to do it soon to save Midnight. Having no choice, I let Midnight’s mum know of it as well. She requested for contact to the vet and I gave them to her.
Today was my day off and I went down to bring Midnight for his review, I had gotten so attach to him than I could tell his emotion and it wanted to express right away. The two of us had a ‘battle’ while putting him into his carrier for the trip. Midnight actually scolded the Vet after the Vet was done with him and was putting him back into his carrier. The vet told me, if he is eating, drinking and very angry, means the infection was least of our worries for now but for Midnight, we should do it soon. I told the vet that I understand as this is a really big decision for the family, do give them sometime for they should be contacting them soon.
When I put Midnight back into his cage, I told him to be good and stay strong, he needs to take his medication like a good bunny in order to recover. I gave his favorite dried carrots and his food, aftering bidding him good bye, I left.
Earlier the Vet called…she told me Midnight’s family called and they will like to put Midnight to sleep. Due to the seriousness of the injury and they should be moving back to the states next year. I was actually at the brink of tears when I heard this but I controlled it, the Vet actually felt my sudden pause that I might be shock by the news, kindly asked how was I. I replied I’m okay and told her, that I will be bringing Midnight down next week. I checked my emailed, the customer sent me the same email as well, I let them know I gotten the call from the vet and will be bring him down next week, if there is anything they me to do for Midnight, they can let me know.
I took a bath than I sat down started to blog…I have came to love and hate this rabbit. He has become a friend, when you talk to him, he will look at you with this eyes and listen to you which is so human. And now to know that he is will be going next week…I have no idea how to face him tomorrow when I return to work to see him. It really hurts inside but why? Midnight doesn’t even belong to me. I actually don’t hate Midnight’s family for making the choice, for one he is theirs, not mine.
It is actually difficult to say it now…
I wanted to tell Midnight’s mum to give him a chance to life. I can keep the rabbit if they are moving away next year. I don’t mind. These words just didn’t came.
It is difficult to say it…
to say Goodbye.
