Crossroad of… … …Darkness
After so long of separation with my old friends, I finally gain a new insights on life and the things around me.
I see myself and my friends meeting on a path, as we walk down the path, we share laughters and pain, hit by storm and sun. Soon all of us reach a cross road, the different paths are only enough for one person to walk, so travelling in a group will be useless. One by one, my friends walk down their chosen path ahead of me. And now what is left will be me alone still hesitating to take my step out onto my own path. I am afriad but I told myself, the roads bring us together and now part us, it will surely one day bring us together again, I have to believe in that. And I did, I finally made my first step down my own path down the cross road, in hope one day, I will meet my old friends once more or may be, new friends.
As I walk down my path, I find myself being attacked from behind, I fall when I got up I only saw my ‘attacker’. It was someone I consider as a friend from work. It was only then I notice a dark and even lonelier path, that might lead my heart once again astray. I hear a voice talking to me Walk into darkness once again, only darkness can protect you form people. You know you need them not…all you need is to embrace darkness and let it all go. To me it make sense, so I take the dark and lonely path of darkness and of no return.
Well that is what I understand, that’s how I picture my life inside my head, life is like walking down a path. You get nonsense people and things along the way. And the last part is something I felt during work, I got back-stabbed by a certain two-faced colluge. I was pretty mad but I bottled down my unnatural anger and forced myself to wear a mask everyday to hide my displease and anger.
Here’s what happen:
I am busy with an email or something like that, the bottom-line I am busy, so I ask this trainning magament to help me count a bag of money that I took out some money, just to like counter check I took out correctly. So he rejected and ask why do I need someone else to count money for me, so he went ahead and made a call to his friend and I counted money. I am slow in counting coins because I wanna be extra careful, so he laughed at me, I was kinda piss, so I counted it in a haze and left. Also I have this PCC at work, we are okay together, we play jokes with one another, once like last year, I wanted to get him for a joke he played on him, so I ran after him in the shop but stopped when customers came in.
On last wednesday, my acting area supervisor called me and my PCC up during work and asked do we have problems with each other. Because ’someone’ saw us chasing one another in the store, aguring and teasing one another. Then the supervisor turned to me and ask me why am I not working at my best? Why do i need someone’s help in counting money? Why do I need to ask the PCC to help in making sure the hamster dun fight? Who gave me the right to order them around? And he said that I did not get my bouns was because I am not performing well enough. He added that he wanted to promote me but he can’t because I am not showing him results, because I can’t even do one thing right.
Well the chasinga round is already known, we are playing and got capture on the CCTV, so I will keep my mind on that. Then when we teased and chatted we did behind the CCTV so how did the supervisor know? Also the counting money incident, how in the world did he know of this? So of course some one back stabbed me for sure and I know who it was.
I bottled down my anger, I will do my work, I will not hang around doing nothing. I will do my share of stuff if the supervisor still think I am not performing well, I can leave no worries on that. Due to this, I gave up on everything once again, I can not trust anyone at all. I have to fight on my own, I have already made the choice and walk down the cross road, I am alone in this battle. This is the foul and ugly side of human races, the human God have created from Adam and Eve, you know what I don’t want to be part of it. Yes, thy can debate saying not everyone is perfect but why do almost half of the people I ran into are like this. Even I am slowly becoming like them. I want out!
I have already drawn the line between them, I will do my job and they have to stick to theirs and don’t come and bother me.
Ravyn Lilith Wilson
Signing off~
