Hitting the roof…
Okay here’s the truth of the girl writing all these silly craps…I weight about 78kg and I am around 158cm tall, so if you do yor BMI math correctly, I am overweight, that I KNOW! I don’t need people to keep on reminding me of this! And who is the smartass reminding me? That will no other than my stupid father.
Sometimes, I really want to throw my top at him but he is my father, so I gave him the respect he needs from his daughter. But in reality does he even respect me? Okay, I am fat, I admit it and I doing lots of changes, I have only two meals a day, I am trying to cut down my intake of chocolates, I drink only plain water or fruit juices with labels that say ‘No sugar added’. I am trying to find a time to go gym, since I work 6 days a week. Or may be go sign up who kick boxing since I like that sport like…. lots! Well as I am typing this my stomach is growling because today I only have one and half meals, my colleague treated me a MC spicy which some times I will avoid, it’s free so why not…but it is so spicy I only take two bites and leave it for the rest of the day and in the end I wasted it.
So what do my stupid father expected from me, to wake up early and go jog, he even suggested me to go go 7am in the morning before going to work at 9am. I think he forgot the thing about TRAVELING TIME! Hey, I am not Super woman, I can’t possible fly from one part of Singapore to the Central. He said, I am so fat that when I reach 40, I might not even be able to walk by then and I will be having lots of illness and all. And he is worry to see me get sick with like Diabetic or cancer in the womb or things like that. He wants me to run 5 days a week till I get slim down or something. He tells me there’s no need to sleep so much and he is willing to buy me a track machine so I can run at home. If he still as sane as I am, WE HAD ONE BEFORE! HE WAS THE STUPID FELLOW WHO THREW IT AWAY BECAUSE IT IS TOO OLD but it was useable. So who’s fault is that? Mister, blame it on farking genes! I have farking big bones! Damn it! This is the damn reason why I dream of moving out of the house. If I get sick, I will get sick beyond your eyes, don’t worry. I won’t let you see me! And when I die, I will die without you knowing! Rest at ease! DAMN!
So what I am fat! It is not I am farking lazy, I am trying my best to slim down as well! I want to wear pretty clothes as well, I want to be pretty as well! Do you think I want to be fat! Damn it! Asshole! Bastard, you have to make me shallow all my tears and cry alone in the dark. Damn it! If you want me to slim down, let me do it my way! Farking idoit! I know the truth! It is not like I am hiding from the farking fact that I am fat! Idoit!
Okay fine! I will go sign for kick boxing during my free time! I will go learn dancing as well. I will then eat only one farking meal! And die slimming down! Happy!?! Bastard! I am alone and angry enough and my bastard of a father have to make things worst! So be it then! I hate him! Damn it!
He said, he will rather die while running, than dying by illness and bed ridden. I wish he die soon, make my life easier. I know I am not suppose to do that but who farking cares. My mum had suffer his bullcrap for over 40 years, while I have for 21 years. It is enough! Shit! I am crying now! Bastard are you happy now?
You know what? I will be eating one meal tomorrow onwards so if I die due to lack of food for the name of be slim, you guys know who to blame for those stupid expectations! I know he wants the best of me but I am farking 21! I know what I doing, you damn bastard! Enough said!
I stand for 8 hours during work, if I don’t get enough sleep, I won’t be able to work, this is what my stupid father fail to see, I need to climb up and down, carry heavy things and all, I need my rest. So it is a stupid idea to ask me to scarifice my sleep just to go for a job when I might be able to work at all. I apologize for some of the words being use and some of you may disapproval of my way of speaking of my father, please forgive me. If he is any of a better person, I won’t be speaking of him in this manner and I won’t be this pissed off. And I do welcome any comments on how to lose weight, please don’t ask me to excerise it is the main cause why I am so piss right now.
Ravyn Lilith Wilson
Signing off~
